The Scorpion and the monk

So I have run into a lot of backstabbing behavior from people I genuinely considered friends (some for short periods of time, some for decades – most of the longer friendships have been busted by obviously jealous “girlfriends” who really have no idea who they are up against when they are up against me … in a short phrase, “they” have made themselves look stupid, at least to rational people … and jealousy is never a good look.). I would say this is some kind of screwy “phase,” but sadly, people have been stabbing me in the back since I was about 10, so I know how it goes … although the WAY in which it goes never seems to hurt any less. For example, someone I met who also has horrible Behcet’s and was face-to-face with death for many months due to GI manifestations. Me, being me, I wrote to Dr. Y (if you have Behçet’s, you know who that is) because I am one of the FEW patients he has kept on and asked if it would be okay for this “friend” to contact him, since he is the first or second (that would be after his father) best doctor on the planet when speaking about this insidious illness. This is NEVER something I have done before. It is not something I would ever do if I didn’t fully believe a life was at stake … and the life of a “friend” at that. I don’t want to go on for long about this because I do not like to reinforce poor behavior, but suffice it to say, I did everything I could from where I am; I cried for days on end wondering if this “friend” was even still alive; I did check-ins to make sure she was.

And then, without messaging me personally, one day she was just fine. No private message before everyone got to see; no open recognition that I had tried to help as much as I could (I don’t really care much for the open recognition, but if you’re not going to tell me you’re no longer dying personally, it has to come in the other way … or else, it’s very much backstabbing). Let me also clarify that I have sent several links to Sparky Puck’s cancer fundraisers … all of which received an immediate heart or “like.” To me, that is not appropriate either. Earlier, back when the aforementioned medical problem was starting to go down, this person’s dog became very ill and needed surgery. Thankfully he was fine (see, that’s me being me!), but if I had been told they had spent $12,000 trying to get this dog to be healthy and they needed help, I would have been there RIGHT AWAY – kind of like the fundraiser I MADE for GutsUK for the charity calendar we were supposed to have out this past year, but couldn’t get out because of various health and mental / emotional issues with the aforementioned person and the artist putting it together. I should have learned my lesson then, that despite claiming to raise money for this organization, this person donated nothing to that cause. So why should it surprise me that this person doesn’t care if my best friend – just about my only friend – is dying? It’s easy – I thought this person was my friend.

So, me again being me, I have been looking through various pages about being backstabbed and the horrible experiences people have endured (if I listed all of mine, I’m sure all the non-sociopath / non-psychopaths would weep) and I found this folk story – I will let it do the rest of the “talking” for me.

There was once a monk. The monk was sitting on the side of a river when he noticed a scorpion drowning after falling in the water. The monk pulled the scorpion out and, despite rescuing it, the scorpion stung him. The scorpion and monk went their separate ways until another day when the scorpion had fallen into water and the monk again saved it, only to be stung. This happened time and time and time again and people started to wonder. They asked the monk, “why do you keep saving the scorpion when he continues to bite and sting you?” The monk answered succinctly – “Because that is his karma, and this is mine.”

I hope that hit you as hard as it did me. It’s hard to keep being good when people let you down – and the only people who you can even call backstabbers are people in whom you’ve placed trust and friendship. You are never backstabbed by someone you’ve never liked – they simply hurt you. But the hurt caused by backstabbing is a pain very different from that.

At any rate, I will leave you with that and I hope anyone reading this who even fails to think about others will start to do so for both the sake of others and their own sake. I have not had an easy life, but as time passes, I see more and more how karma really works. Even if you do not see it in the here and now, it is always waiting in the shadows.