An Anecdote

My mom had a terrible childhood; I will not say too much about that because I am currently working on an interview “series” with her to hear her whole story and get it in writing. But to make a VERY long story short, she was adopted as a baby when her biological mother became pregnant VERY late in life and had the baby who was completely “unplanned.” The baby was put up for adoption immediately after birth and knowing my mother’s adopted mother and father who wanted children badly, they were contacted and took my mother in. She had a good beginning but then a horrible developmental period in which her adopted mother died and her adopted grandmother died and her father got into all kinds of bad things (I do not know how much she would want me to say to that end, so I will end it there for now). However, before her adopted mother died, her adopted parents did have one child – my mom’s half-brother – the brother she grew up with. This brother wanted to drop out of school and go and do whatever but my mother literally dropped out of school to take care of her “brother” while their father was doing who-knows-what (he later got clean and straight and was a FANTASTIC grandfather to us; I think of him and miss him every day of my life and I am crying writing that). Giving up her chance for a full college education, she got her brother through high school and eventually into a cushy job where their father worked. At an early age, her brother married. The wife hated my mother.

The things this “aunt” of mine did to us (that is, my sister and I) as children are … unforgivable at best and I think some of the earliest moments of trauma that later grew into the massive state of CPTSD that I am now aware of. She also made very clear that she wanted my mother nowhere around her brother and as time progressed, so did the distance between the two, and my mother, who had given up everything for him, got nothing back but an occasional “happy birthday.”

What am I driving at here? I am saying that if you or anyone you know is in a relationship in which the partner (of any sex, but much more often women than men, although my experience was very different) ISOLATES you from your OWN friends and family – HEED THEIR ADVICE VERY EARLY. If your family doesn’t like the partner who is slowly but surely isolating you, making you tell friends they are “bad friends” and other horrible things, YOU NEED TO GET OUT NOW. Because trust me – I was in that situation for nearly 6 years of my life – and I wasted about 4-5 of those years. And the longer you let it go, the more people you will lose until you only have his or her friends (and the ones that might perhaps be joint friends) … and suddenly you no longer have your long-term friends and family and you are not where you want to be and not doing what you want to do, etc. And I can tell with the aforementioned uncle that he is just unhappy all of the time now. They all do the great “fake smiles” for pictures. But I know the story behind it all.

That is advice everyone who might be reading this should pay attention to. Because you can either waste periods of time in your life like I did or you can lost everything you want in your life – the choice really is completely yours. I know I am not the best person to be saying this, but there are BILLIONS OF PEOPLE OUT THERE – there is certainly more than one person that is right for you. And the chances that you’ve met the person of your dreams (for real) in the same area and time and around the same age and of the same mentality is absurdly small.

So just pay attention. And if the very thought of thinking about this offends you, perhaps your unconscious is telling you more than I could ever say.

That is all I have to say for now.

I will be having either a piece of vein cut out of my leg or a whole vein sliced out from my thigh/hip down into my ankle/foot. Time will tell because the original study was not done properly.

I hope you are all having a happy and healthy day, no matter what you are facing today! I wish you all the best health you can have in every possible way. And PLEASE REMEMBER, MY HEART IS ALWAYS WITH YOU.

❤ Always, Beth