Hello! I apologize for the lack of posts lately. One would think I had more time to think and to write and I suppose I have had more than enough time to think …. but the ideas that have been coming to me are fairly “grandiose” and do not make for “good” short blogging material. I suppose I will start work on my second “book.” Perhaps some of the entries from this “blog” will fall into categories in that book as well….
At any rate, I just wanted to say something kind of ridiculous in that it is so evident – that is, that we should all be thankful for every moment of “ordinary” we have in our lives. I think that as a “culture” (even “globally”) we have lost the idea of genuine gratitude for the mundane among wishes for more more more – more things, more money, more experiences, etc. I know the “spiritualist,” “New Age,” &c. movements talk about things like this … but I’m not really talking so much about being grateful for the here and now as much as I am talking about being genuinely grateful for the seemingly humdrum days that usually wear out our nerves and lead us to those “greater” desires.
I am sure I have mentioned a certain “ex” of mine I dated for many years. We varied in many ways and I genuinely believe he had some major psychological issues he was not equipped to handle – and, as I should have known, one can never change an OTHER without the OTHER willing to make the change(s) himself or herself. The many “good times” we had I recognize, retrospectively, as mirroring behavior – that is, that even if I had been alone and been well, I would have likely had that kind of “fun” on my own – it was just mirrored in another person back at me and so it seemed like “more fun” – and, of course, not being alone is comforting in and of itself. All of that aside, one of the differences manifested very early in this “long” relationship. We would talk about waiting in line at the grocery store; having very busy schedules (his schedule was even busier than mine), he would often gripe about the time it took to wait in line just to check out and how that time could be better utilized for “greater” activities. I remember that thought sending me into that sort of “falling feeling;” like my stomach fell through my body … that kind of agitating “sinking” sensation I think we can all relate to in some shape and form. At any rate, my gut reaction was to say something to the effect of “why do you think that way? We are always so busy! This is the ONE TIME in our lives when we DO NOT have to rush to get somewhere or do something – we don’t have to worry about “oversleeping” or not staying up late enough to get through the 800 pages of reading in one day or writing out pages of code by hand, &c. THIS IS GENUINE FREE TIME. THERE IS NOTHING ELSE WE CAN DO HERE BUT ENJOY THE TIME AND WAIT.” I think that idea was as foreign to him as another language might have been, but he thought about it and “agreed.”
Thinking back on that time and that moment and comparing all of that to ALL OF THIS (even our current “waits” for groceries – whether in person or by pickup, &c.) – and how we seem to have lost sight of enjoying the periods of time during which we do not have anything necessarily pending to do. I do not think ALL of life should be spend in this kind of manner, but I do think it is integral to recognize the importance of the periods of time we spend without anything else to do. Having busy schedules and lots to accomplish, &c., only emphasizes the importance of having these “down” periods. That speaks so critically to the “stay at home” orders we are under in the here and now – to some, it might seem like a never-ending nightmarish “entr’acte” between where we were and where we were going. I am sure the lack of an absolute “time” makes this feeling even more uncomfortable to many people. However, how many other times do we really have in life just to … have time? (God-willing my prophesies regarding the deluge of such “pandemics” will find themselves as unfounded fears….) I realize that “normal, healthy” people are not “trained” just to enjoy this kind of time and realize that it brings just as much meaning and importance as busy time does. And I really think that is “the” problem in all of this – that people are NOT “taught” just to be okay with themselves in the here and now (to tie that all together!) and to enjoy just some “freedom” (albeit conditional) OF time … and that leads us to going out and putting ourselves in the path of danger.
At any rate, I hope that got you thinking a little bit about how ethereal this little bit of time is and how important it is that we just enjoy it for what it is, regardless of the difficulties it brings – perhaps this is an opportunity to FACE those difficulties head on and find your own solutions to the things which are creating the most trouble for you. There are very few times in our lives (again, GOD-willing!) that we have this “freedom” of time – it is, very much, like an extended waiting line at the grocery store … except that if we DO NOT accept that it is what it is, the consequences can be, very literally, fatal. I really hope you and we (myself included!) can all learn just to appreciate the time we are GIVEN to fill out the gaps in our lives that tend to remain hidden when we fill our schedules with “other things.” Perhaps we just need to appreciate the ability to find out what those gaps are and to HAVE the time to heal ourselves (no pun intended, honestly).
I do hope you are all doing well and staying well and safe. I hope to be back soon – I have so much to write and so many “big” ideas in my head I honestly do not know what to do with all of them. I wake up in the middle of the night and have these amazing thoughts and fall asleep before I remember to remember them or to write them down. At any rate, please stay safe and stay HOME, despite the challenges, and please use this time even just to learn how to ENJOY the TIMES when we are “forced” not to do anything else.
❤ Always, Beth