I mention “memory problems” / “memory loss” because I had an amazing post I meant to write today … but I was driving home from the dentist (my second home) and I didn’t have any way of getting it down – even “touching” a cell phone while driving in Bethlehem is illegal! – and now I seem to have forgotten it.I hope I will remember it soon because it was a really true / thought-provoking subject / topic regarding chronic illness and the ways we often “cope” with the many traumas that necessarily arise when one must learn to live “side-by-side” with chronic illness. I mention “possible seizures” because I think I have been having them – I have caught myself missing beats of things (that is, losing a few seconds of time but being aware that I lost it afterward) as well as experiencing a very terrifying feeling of “falling through the ground.” I have also had some issues driving through tree-lined streets or highways when the light is flashing every time there is oscillation between the light of the sun and the light being blocked by the trees; I get this feeling like I keep falling asleep at very short intervals.
At any rate, I wanted to write something here today and I was just thinking about my many “lives” and how when I was younger I actually went to “golf camp.” If you were to look at my life “pre-systemic Behcet’s” you would probably think I was from some crazy rich and influential family – I am not. At any rate, it is just so interesting to be able to look back and see that I have lived “many lives” despite having “lost” so many years to illness. It often helps to think about those goofy memories and to realize how – despite chronic illness – these things have shaped who I am today.
I hope you are all doing well this week and are having a happy and healthy day or night wherever you are in the world! I am turning either 106 or 101 (depending on who you ask!) very soon, so I have been having those moments of realizing I AM getting older and feeling somewhat nostalgic at least for my “healthier” days. I hope to return to them very soon. I hope also to remember what I was going to write up here because it really was good and I think fairly “universal” to the experience(s) of anyone with at least moderately severe chronic illness(es). I’ll be back soon!
❤ Always, Beth