After years of living with chronic illness, depression is inevitable.
I don’t really feel like talking (or writing, as the case is here), but I seem to have fallen into a pit of the aforementioned depression over the last day or so. I feel like my life sucks and that I have struggled so hard for everything I have but that everything basically sucks. I just want to lie in bed, close my eyes, and never wake up.
Don’t worry about me saying that – the feeling will pass … it always does. But I’m really over it all right now.
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Published by Beth Poste
I have been living with chronic illness since I was 2 months old. My first "formal" chronic illness diagnosis was Behçet's Disease - I was 17 at the time. I was later diagnosed with Common Variable Immune Deficiency (I more or less led the doctors to that diagnosis - that story is for another time!) and those have been my "primary" two illnesses. I have many other "secondary" diagnoses such as seronegative Rheumatoid Arthritis, Chiari 1 Malformation (a result, I believe, of the Behçet's causing aseptic meningitis time and again since it had never appeared in brain scans before I was about 24-25), osteoporosis, compression fractures of the thoracic spine, and many others. I know what it is like to feel as if you have lost years of your life that you can never recover from illness and the many restrictions it places upon you in your everyday life. I just want you to know that I know what it is like and I have been there through every period of my life - you are NOT ALONE! Please do not hesitate to contact me if you ever need someone to talk with or someone just to listen to you - I am always here! Thank you for taking the time to read this and my other posts and I hope you are having a happy and healthy day no matter where you are in the world! Take care.
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