Sadness, Cont….

There are some days when the realization of everything you missed out on really hits you. I don’t know how strong that feeling is for “normal, healthy” people; I suppose there is an element of that to the lives of almost all people. However, knowing who you were and where you were before the time when you got so sick and making the COMPARISON with who you are and where you are now can be too much to handle some days. I’ll reiterate that although inherently “human,” the act of comparison – especially when there is a “negative” element and especially when that element relates to yourself – is something from which we should work hard to disengage. There is no point in thinking “I could have been …” “I would have been …” &c. “if I hadn’t gotten so sick.” The reality doesn’t change, the time can never be regained. I know I always say to look forward because you never know what any part of the future might bring, but the reality is that we do get caught up in this “sadness” thinking – I know I do.

I was also thinking about something I often say – that most problems really stem from interactions with other people. Sadness, resentment, fear – most of the “causes” of these kinds of things derive from interactions with others or our own comparisons with others. I had an interesting thought today, however, that kind of turns that one on its head. There is sadness inherent in nature – if we “assume” the natural state of “things” is to mourn death (animals often do), then we have an innate “instinct” to know what sadness is and what at least some of its causes are. HOWEVER, aside from feelings of joy, contentment, and peace, I cannot really think of anything that causes us to LAUGH outside of having interactions (either in real life or viewed online or communicated in a million ways) with others. One can be alone in nature and feel the sadness of the death of animals and the falling of leaves seasonally and one can feel the happiness in the “rebirth” of life in that sort of way. But LAUGHTER – HUMOR – is something I don’t think we can really find outside of relationships with others. A tree, whether alive or dead, is not “funny” on its own. It might be funny if it has bark that resembles another person’s face or something goofy like that. But it is just an interesting thought – that most sadness is brought on by interactions with others but it can just BE; laughter and comedy, however, seem to be something we can only experience IF WE COMPARE with others to some degree. In that sense, perhaps comparison is a good thing….

I will leave with that thought. I hope you are all having a happy and healthy day wherever you are in the world. Smile for a minute and dance (even if all you can do is wiggle a finger!) and take just a little while to think about how extraordinary it is that we have the capacity to feel the emotion behind laughter. It reminds me of something a “wise” person once told me when I said “I hate people.” He replied “But Beth, YOU are a people too.”

❤ Always, Beth


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