Just A Thought …

When I think about others, I almost ALWAYS think of what I can do for them – whether that be something like listening, being there as emotional support, buying something for that person that would brighten his or her day, &c. I have been engaged in many “conversations” about “compassion” recently and although replacing that word with “compACTION” would not work so well, to me, there is an element of having to ACT in order to be COMPASSIONATE. To clarify this a little bit, I can say that I am a compassionate person because I listen openly to the problems of others and do not openly judge them and I say I am there for someone to talk to. However, if you know that those others or that person to whom you’re “talking” would BENEFIT more greatly from something else (take, for instance, a friend of mine who lost her mother and had to attend a church “ceremony” honoring the lost members of the church alone…. I didn’t realize the full implications of all of this but I went with her; to me, that is compassion – the element of ACTION is there. If I had just stayed at home and not held her hand and given her a hug when she came back alone crying and I had just talked to her about it the next day … it might be compassionate, but it is not to the same level…. I hope I am making sense here!).

I am currently dealing with this issue in which I am on the “receiving” end of NEEDING the act of compassion. I suppose it is my own EXPECTATIONS imposed on others that makes me think the way I do, but the “compassion” I am receiving from the “other” in this particular scenario is not … the “appropriate” kind of compassion. I really cannot think of a good way to phrase what I mean and I am getting terribly tongue-tied! The case to which I am referring, to me, is fairly straightforward; given the situation, if I were the other person, I would OFFER A PHYSICAL ITEM TO THE OTHER PERSON (me, here). I realize we all do not think the same. And I realize we all do not show our emotions or feel our emotions or express our own compassion and empathy in the same ways – if we did, I don’t think there would be a need for compassion in the first place. However, there is something I can’t quite put my finger on that exists between what I “JUDGE” to be true “acts of compassion” and just “acting compassionately.” And again, there is that huge elephant right there – the element of JUDGMENT.

Here’s a quick example. If you’re saying you buy yourself a nice handbag every month to treat yourself and someone comes up to you and offers to sell you something because that person has no money … there are, of course, many things you could do. I am the type of person who would just buy that person a very nice handbag – the money would be great, but I know that the handbag would bring that person happiness and good memories and would be something he or she could cherish for a long time – and have a great story to go with it! And if things did get bad for that person, he or she could always sell that handbag for the needed money. That is how my mind operates and how my heart functions. That is me.

This all gets very complicated very quickly, but I wonder if others experience this kind of thing. I know as children we often perceive unmet but needed compassion as feelings of extreme sadness and sometimes even abandonment and neglect. Perhaps it is this base from which my feelings ultimately derive. At any rate, as always, I really would to hear others’ thoughts on this matter (and others!)!

I hope you are having a happy and healthy day or night, wherever you are in the world! Tonight, I will be expressing my own compassion to myself that more of my eyelashes don’t just *poof* turn white overnight…. And that will be an upcoming post! But for now …

❤ Always, Beth


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