Thought of the Day – Remembering “How” to Love

I just had an interesting thought. I don’t know how many people out there have been in the situation I have found myself in; that is, that I more or less got very sick in my very early 20s and that carried through in various ways until the very recent future (perhaps last few months). I am still not “well” but I am BETTER insofar as I can actually go out sometimes and I can take myself to some appointments, etc. Five years ago that would have been impossible. Two years ago that would have been impossible. At any rate, what happens is that if you are unable to go out, you eventually start not only to lose your existing friends, but you lose contact with everyone except for your immediate family and/or caretakers. You have no real opportunities to “meet” people (I was fortunate in that I started doing YouTube in a quasi-well period and I did meet some others struggling with various chronic illnesses as well as some others in general) … and that, as I have discussed here at length, is the time when “everyone” seems to pair off and get married.

With all of the backstory reiterated, I just wanted to mention the previously noted “interesting thought.” That is, that although I have not been on so much as a date in over a decade, I know 100% that I have NOT “forgotten how to love.” I think that is an incredible thing. I think it is even more incredible because aside from that “honeymoon” phase others go through, I think most people who get married fairly young who lead “normal, healthy” lives, tend to “forget” what falling in love feels like. I think that FEELING has played a major role in one of my longer “chains of coincidence” in which I have found myself over this past year; perhaps more on the part of another person. When I am feeling well and can go do things (whatever kinds of things they might be), I do have this “energy” about me – I often say to those around me that people either love me or they hate me, there really is no “middle” or “like” with me. I’m okay with that. At any rate, I think that energy might have triggered a memory of HOW it feels to be “in love” in another person. That particular “chain of coincidence” hasn’t ended yet, for better or for worse, so I will end that thought there.

I just wanted to point out how important it is to remember what it feels like to be in love. It really doesn’t matter if the object of your love is another person or something you do like playing an instrument or learning and speaking another language or whatever it is that gives you butterflies and makes you feel that “spark” of energy that seems to be lacking in “routine” life. Personally, having lived the past decade+ in the aforementioned way, I know how important it is not only not to take that feeling for granted but to chase after it whenever and however you can. I do not believe the “goal” of life is to be “happy” or “content” (that seems foolish to me), but I think a key to leading a GOOD life, no matter if you are sick or well, is to live in a way that brings joy to yourself and to others. I suppose this is where I draw the distinction between myself and the current “positivists” (the term makes me roll my eyes, honestly!); that it is important to be “happy” and “content” but that the “meaning” of life really doesn’t have so much to do with that. As a quick example, I can cite Ernest Hemingway. The end.

But for now, I just want you to remember that feeling of what it is like to be head-over-heels in love. And even if you don’t have a romantic partner (or partners), I want you to be able to feel that feeling just within yourself and with what you do and to be able to share that feeling with others. This “world” is so filled with fear and all of its manifestations – to be able to feel what it is like to “fall” in love (the term, I believe, is what it is because you have that sensation of falling, literally, when you truly fall in love) and to be able to help others remember that is one of the most important things you can do, in my opinion.

I hope you are all having a happy and healthy day – I have a terrible cold – but I will certainly be back here soon soon soon!!

❤ Always, Beth