Advice in General

Ever since I went through the extreme bullying I had to endure starting in middle school, I have lived (more or less; now things are more challenging than they were when I was “healthier”) by the “mantra” that life “should” be lived in a way in which one gains the most experiences possible. It can be very difficult to gain “new experiences” when you are facing chronic illness, but I think it is a good way to live life, even if taken figuratively. My advice for everyone, then, is just to live with your eyes always open and always looking for what might be new and not yet experienced. I suppose in many ways my “opposition” to marriage (at least in the way it is “usually” done) is that so many people tend to “close their eyes” to others who might be “better” matches they meet later in life. So many people hit that late 20s / early 30s time and see everyone else either getting married or already married and simply jump in; there is nothing wrong with that in and of itself (other than the goofiness of being so involved in comparison that one dedicates such a MASSIVE percentage of his or her life to another person without “sufficient” consideration) – the problem (at least that I see) often arises when people meet amazing people who might be “soulmates” later in their lives but they turn away from these others because they have already committed themselves earlier in their lives. To me, that is a blatant example of “closing your eyes.”

All I want to say is that even if you are married and even if you are 100% convinced that you are with your soulmate now (if you are, I do commend that!), keep your eyes open because if you turn away, you might be losing someone who could even be your best friend or someone who would be there for you in thick and thin in a non-romantic kind of way. Perhaps it is more of an issue of perception, but I implore everyone never to close their eyes to others or to the possibilities in life. If you have an opportunity to study abroad, do not hesitate – go! I made that “mistake” JUST before I started to get so sick in my life – and it is likely an opportunity I will never have again. Look at everything and everyone you meet as something positive – even if you meet someone awful, you have gained the experience of seeing the qualities in that person that made you realize he or she was “no good.” Do not settle for routine, no matter how old you get and no matter how many “responsibilities” you have that tie you down (there are things in life that do, inevitably tie us down – chronic illness is one of these things – but we still have to keep our “eyes open” and do as many things as we can with the time that we do have). I know I probably sound a little bit like a broken record here so I will wrap this up …

The happiest and “most loved” and often most “grounded” people I know (people who have been through crazy adversity and seen it through to better times) are those who live by the idea that life “should” be lived so that one gains as many experiences as possible. Perhaps another way of stating that is to live your life so that you have incredible stories that you can tell others about your life and what you have done and the people you have met. I know the happiest times in my life have been the times when I have really lived life to the fullest in that sort of way – and it can be done even when we have serious chronic illness as well.

I hope you are all having a happy and healthy day wherever you are in the world! It is a beautiful fall day here – I hope you are having a wonderful day as well! I am off to take the needles out of my legs (immunoglobulin infusion STOP!)!

❤ Always, Beth


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