Core Beliefs.

Why do I believe “core beliefs” are so important, especially when it comes to the compatibility between two people? There are a number of reasons but, in my opinion, one of the most important is that I believe our “core beliefs,” when “properly” examined, i.e., examined and determined to be ones’ own beliefs or conditioned and agreed upon beliefs – do not really change over a lifetime – they might get “tweaked” here and there as one gains experience and acquires new knowledge, but in general, one’s “core beliefs” or “core values” tend to remain fairly constant throughout one’s life.

There are certainly a seemingly limitless number of factors that combine to determine one’s “attraction” to another person. There are similarly, an unlimited number of these “confluences” that determine such attraction as well. One can certainly have a relationship based on any number of singular factors or these “conjunctions” of factors and it is evident that many relationships do depend on circumstances that do not necessarily deal with such aforementioned “core beliefs.” However, looking both at relationships (long-term and short-term) around me as well as my own relationships, the ones that end up being more than compilations of memories (i.e., that result in long-term friendships when the “romantic” relationship ends) are the ones in which “both” parties involved (or however many parties are involved!) have very similar “core values.” I want to note here that said “core values” or “core beliefs” do not NECESSARILY include things like religion because religion are types of conditioning – if one takes the time and effort to evaluate this sort of conditioning and either comes to his or her own decision to agree or disagree with it, the ideas encompassed within that religion can and do become part of one’s belief system (this, however, rarely occurs with individuals who are “brought up” within certain religions that convince their “constituents” that associations made with others from “outside” religions or other groups are inherently “bad” or “evil”). There are a few instances in which religious belief systems can become “unconditioned” and therefore not DIRECTLY affect a relationship one has – If one has made the conscious decision to agree with the tenets of his or her religion, for example, or if the person with whom he or she is involved either also agrees with these ideas or agrees to disagree amicably, the two agreeing or disagreeing belief systems can be reconciled. Long-term, however, I do not see this frequently “working” just because the manner in which religion tends to indoctrinate its “believers” tends to be extremist at best.

All rants aside, I am just getting at the idea that two people really do need to “believe” in the same certain things in order for those two people to have any kind of “meaningful,” long-term relationship. This does not mean, for instance, that a person who is Jewish and a person who is Catholic cannot ever reconcile the differences in their faiths – they simply have to have acknowledged and examined the conditioning that went into their beliefs in said religions and agree on certain “basic” “ideals.” Some of these ideals include things like how to treat others, what life “means,” ideas regarding procreation and abortion and marriage, &c., &c., &c. Political affiliation seems to touch more deeply into these “core beliefs” than religion does (except, as mentioned previously, in extreme cases) – for example, one would “expect” someone who is “very liberal” to believe in things like social programs for the disabled and the less fortunate whereas one who is “very conservative” might believe strongly in being “pro-life” and having certain “political rights,” &c. Again, these ideas must be thoroughly investigated as to their positions conditionally – we must all look at our demographic “backgrounds” and see what parts of our “conditioning” / upbringing are parts with which we agree and which are parts with which we disagree. This is a very complicated process in and of itself and one into which (I believe) very few people delve – it is not an easy process to look that deeply into yourself, especially if you are already involved with someone who might not have the same ideas and “core beliefs” as you have regarding issues that are of importance to you.

This is just an issue with which I am battling out in my head right now. It is not an active state, per se, but one I am observing and contemplating – one in which the two parties involved seem to have very different “core belief” systems, and one in which the two parties seem to be conflicting on this basis. It is a very interesting topic in many ways and one that I will certainly be discussing again in the future!

At any rate, I just wanted to throw that out there today since it is something that has been at the front and center of my mind over the last few months. As always, I would love to hear what “yinz” think about all of this and how “core beliefs” and “core belief systems” have affected not only your own belief systems but your relationships. As always, I hope you are all having a happy and healthy day wherever you are in the world! Have a great one – and if you’re in the northeast USA like I am, please stay cool and hydrated – it is HOT out there!

❤ Beth